Another Day, Another Diet

For years it seemed that nearly every weekend was preparation for the new diet I was to begin on Monday. I would eat large quantities of food that I knew were bad for me because starting Monday I would not allow myself to eat those things. Every Monday was going to be the beginning of finally losing weight, of shedding the extra pounds and along with those pounds my self esteem issues and surly attitude. Each of those Mondays past was a new beginning that ultimately came to an end. I tried Atkins, Slim Fast, Weight Watchers, South Beach, Shangri-La, and numerous other fad diets. Some were recommended to me by the teeming masses of women and men fighting the losing battle with obesity, some the t.v. showed me pictures of before/after miracles with tiny almost illegible captions of "these results are not typical" and some diets I made up on my own thinking that I knew enough about nutrition that I could create a plan of my own. Nothing worked. I would stick to it for a few days or a few weeks and on rare occasions a few months but before long I would fail. I would get sick of denying myself things that tasted good. Sick of avoiding occasions where I knew food would be served because I didn't trust my will-power to resist temptation. I don't dread Monday's the way I used to. I don't spend my weekends stuffing my face knowing that its my last days to eat before Monday ends my gluttony. I began my journey in October. It's not always an easy journey. There are times where my mind is hungry and I am physically full. Those times are hard. I know that if I listen to my mind, my body will physically reject the food, and I avoid that. But even on the dark days the days where I question my choice to have the lap-band surgery, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I made the right the decision. This band is my life preserver. Without this band I would have sank into an ocean of despair letting my low self-esteem and unhealthy weight drag me down until life was not life anymore. I cling to my band and the hope it gives me. I watch the numbers on the scale slowly fall and I am buoyed by it. Life is good. Life is getting better.