Thanksgiving

Every year about this time I am still recovering from my over indulgence on Thanksgiving. I struggle with bouts of guilt for over eating, indigestion, and general over consumption discomfort. This year I did not gain ten pounds of Thanksgiving weight, I continued to lose weight. I still enjoyed the festive flavors, I savored each morsel of food I was able to consume. The turkey melted in my mouth, the mashed potatoes were exquisite, the stuffing out of this world, and I couldn't have asked for more from the pumpkin pie. There were times where it got hard. I was full too soon, even before every one sat down to eat. Sampling the food as I helped cook filled me up. I avoided sitting down and instead watched the kids and that helped. When I would feel hungry I would try something else of the table in a very small bite. Part of me wished I could sit down and eat with everyone else, without worrying which foods will hurt my new stomach, but seeing that the number on the scale dropped rather than increased made the difficulty of Thanksgiving worth it.

People say that having a weight loss surgery is taking the easy way out. Those people are wrong. It's not the easy way, it is just a different equally hard way. If I had not had this surgery I would have dieted and fought forever. But I would have still been able to eat whatever I wanted and never would have been able to lose the weight. I knew that I did not have the self control to keep from eating things that were bad for me unless it was medically necessary, I needed to not be physically able to consume the foods I crave so much, at least not in the quantities I used to. Sometimes it is so hard to resist the urge to eat foods I know are not healthy for me. Or to stop eating when I am full, because my brain wants to over eat. I still have to exercise and I fight a mental battle constantly. Re-learning what I can eat is difficult and if I make a mistake it can be painful. But I would make that decision a thousand more times. Its my rebirth.